Tag: Doctor

Posted in Archive, February

Hospital appointment & My views on the majority of Doctors I have met

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Every time I attend a Doctor or Hospital appointment, I go with a calm, polite manner, banishing the memories of the countless impolite Doctors I have met before and hope that the one I am seeing will be a good listener and polite. Yet 97% of all the Doctors I have met have squashed my hope.

Yesterdays appointment was not for Dystonia, however Dystonia still managed to impact it. It started like all Hospital appointments, I waited to be called through and when the Consultant did call me through he seemed to be polite. This helped up my hope for a nice Consultant. So you can imagine how devastated I was at the end of the appointment, when I left wanting to tell him exactly what I thought of him (I refrained from this and kept up my polite attitude). Through-out the appointment he talked over me, consequently he ended up having to ask me the same question 4 or 5 times, as he never let me say more than 3 words before interrupting. He made me feel like a complete inconvenience and that the procedure he would have to carry out at a later date was even more of an inconvenience.

This feeling was proven to be correct after I expressed my concerns that the procedure may set off a Non Epileptic Seizure or a spasm, to this he replied “Well, we shall to give you a small sedation in your hand before hand. I cannot see why we have to, it’s rather inconvenient”. I immediately apologised and explained I was not trying to make things difficult for them, I was simply expressing my concerns as I did not want to turn up on the day and then the procedure not be able to be done because I had a seizure etc. However I do not think he listened to a word of this, as he went on to keep expressing that the 3 changes that had to be made were a huge inconvenience for him. He then expressed that he felt the issue I had suffered with for 6 months was most likely not serious, this was great news, however he then implied that he considered that whatever was going wrong in my body to be due to my weight or my disability by saying “it would not surprise me in someone like you”. Now I understand that he most likely was not trying to insult me however to me that came across as a dig at either the fact I am overweight or the fact I am disabled.  The appointment just kept going down hill from there.

Now I understand that not all Doctors are like this, and there are some who are genuinely nice people, who want to help you, such as my Neurological Consultant and my GP. However the majority of the Doctors I have met are arrogant, insensitive and extremely bad listeners. These traits that do not go well for a Doctor. Even if you do have these traits surely you could at least act like you were listening and wanted to help! I am fed up of Doctors talking to me as if I am not a human but just an illness, or not listening to me etc. I am a human, I have feelings and I deserve to be treated with respect. I would not dare to be disrespectful to a Doctor, or insult them, so why on Earth should I be expected to put up with it??

I know from talking to many people, all with different types of conditions, that running into these types of Doctors/Consultants is becoming a frequent issue. I have seen patients leave appointments in floods of tears. On placement, there were occasions where I was left to deal with the patient myself, and calm them down after they had seen their Doctor. This is not right! A person should leave an appointment, feeling like they have been listened to and that their Doctor is going to try and help them.

It is terribly sad that the Doctors who care seem to be so few and far between. I count myself to be extremely lucky to have two that actually want to help me, who listen and respect me. They truly are outstanding in their profession  Every Doctor should take a leaf out of their books. I can only hope that with time, Doctors start to change, that they start seeing patients as vulnerable beings who have come to seek help from them and not as inconvenient illness that has been shoved in front of them.

 

Posted in Archive, February

Benedict’s Obstacle Course.

Posted on by dystoniaandme

 Imagine this: You wake up in the morning, your eyelids open but you can see nothing due to a spasm pulling your eyes back. You massarge around your eyes blinking violently, trying to beat the first obstacle of the day. Suddenly your sight is back! You celebrate silently, not wanting Benedict to realise you have won, in-case he wants to take revenge. Next you decide to dress quickly before he wakes up and realises what you are doing. You have your top half done, and one leg in your jeans, when suddenly Benedict strikes! Your right leg contorts, as if it’s trying to physically turn backwards, meanwhile your foot has turned under and is dragging along the floor. You stop, take a deep breath, and then start attacking your own leg. Desperately trying to get your jeans over it.

Bang! Your hurried attempts have caused you to fall backwards on to your bed. However you keep on wrestling with your leg until finally you have won. You are officially dressed. You look in the mirror, do you dare attempt to tame your hair and do your make up? With a quick glance at the clock, you decide to attempt to do it. Nervously you brush through your hair, and quickly put it up in a simple pony tail. Relief sweeps through your body. Now on to the make up. Your doing well, almost done. Then, suddenly, pain sears through your eye. Your right hand, which is holding the mascara brush, has spasmed, causing the brush to go straight into your eye.

It has now been two hours since you got up. You have finally managed to get dressed, with hair and most your make up done. Now you need to get through to the living room, so you can grab your bag. Splinting your right hand up first, so as to contain any more unwanted spasms, you slip your arms through your crutches and hop out your room into the hall way. You glance down at the shoes and bags scattered around on the floor like a minefield, and hop around them. Careful not to misplace a crutch or slip.

Now you have reached the penultimate hurdle. You squeeze yourself past the sofa and clothes horse into the living room. Reaching down you pick up your handbag, and swing it over your shoulder. You give yourself a satisfactory smile. You are beating Benedict’s obstacle course so far. You start hopping forwards. You go to squeeze back through the gab between the sofa and the clothes horse…when your right knee collides with the end of the sofa. The knock immediately triggers a spasm. Your leg is twisting side ways and upwards. Pain is taking over. Your balance is now lost. You haphazardly try to place your crutches in a position that will stabilise you. It is a losing battle. You fall backwards onto the other sofa that is just behind you.

After the spasm has calmed down, you decide to take on the final hurdle. This time you choose to leave the crutches behind. Hoping that it will enable you to pass through the dangerous gap between the sofa and clothes horse with ease. You jump up onto your good leg. Keeping your right one off the floor, bent slightly. With arms whirling round widely to prevent you from falling, you hop successfully past the sofa and back into the hallway. You have finally reached the front door! You do not have much further to go. You link your arm round a family member for support and hop out the door. In front of you lies three large steps. Each one looks like a mountain. It fills you with dread. Half of you wants to turn back around, go back to bed and claim defeat. However you hold your ground and preserver, refusing to give in to the evil Dystonia alien, Benedict. You bend your good knee, and cling to the railing with your working/free arm and hop up the huge steps.

You have finally reached your goal. You have reached the car that is waiting to take you to your doctor’s appointment. For the mean time, you have beaten Benedict the Dystonia alien.

Welcome to my life!

 

Posted in Archive, January

A trip to the Doctors

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Cartoon DoctorI paid a visit to my doctor today, as my Dystonic leg is still really bad, and the extreme tremor has been going on for 11 days now. I was hoping he would be able to prescribe me some sort of muscle relaxant to try to take the edge of it. I also wanted to discuss with him about being referred to an Orthotic department, to talk about getting some sort of splint or brace for my leg, as I have talked to and read about people who have tried this and good results.

My doctor was not to sure what to do about the tremor in my right leg, and said that hopefully it was just one of those things that comes and then goes. I am really hoping that he is right as I find this extreme tremor very difficult to handle. It has really restricted how much I can do, for example in the day when I am on my own, I literally have to spend the day in bed, as I need people to help me hop around. I have decided that if by this time next week it is still bad then I shall go back to my Doctor and ask for him to prescribe me a muscle relaxant just so we can see if it works.

He seemed rather interested in my suggestion to try a brace or splint, and has said that he will write a letter to the surgical Orthotic team at my local hospital, and we will go from there. This was very positive, as I had expected him to say it would be best to discuss it with my consultant first and let my consultant handle it.

Overall it was a very positive appointment. Considering my Doctor knows extremely little about Dystonia, he really does try his best to help me the best he can. I hope that in the nicest way possible that I won’t have to see him next week. Just going to have keep my fingers crossed and hope that my right leg calms itself down.

Posted in Archive, January

A Bit Of Retail Therapy!

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Today has been the highlight of my week and has distracted me from the new issues with my leg. My mum and step-dad took me out clothes shopping, which meant that I also got to push myself in my new wheelchair!  I knew that trying on clothes and pushing myself would be exhausting, so I made sure that I paid extra attention to my right hand, so that I did not do too much and cause it to spasm.

All in all  it was a rather successful day out! I managed to get some jeans and some lovely new tops, and I managed to push myself for longer than I had expected. From time to time my mum did have to remind me not to over do, I think I got a bit carried away with having some independence 🙂 In total I think I managed to push myself for about 40 mins!!!! This was a lot longer than I had expected. When I went out in my chair briefly the other day, I only managed about 20 mins, so this was a huge improvement!! It was a tiring but fantastic day!

I am going to go and see my Doctor this week, and see if he can suggest any medication that will help with the tremor in my right leg and talk about my ideas with him, and get his views on it all. I am also going to write an email to my consultant explaining to him the change in my leg and how it is affecting me and getting his advice on what to do about it, I shall also inform him of my ideas for treating my leg and get his opinion on that as well.

Today was exactly what I needed, some laughter, retail therapy and some independence. It helped me refocus my mind on everything, and see that although my leg is bad and making things really rather difficult, it is not the end of the world. I can still go out and laugh and shop like anyone else, the only difference is that I get to sit on a comfy cushion and attempt to tone my arms by pushing myself along at the same time!

Posted in Archive, January

Wibbly Wobbly leg

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Since my last post my ability to move around has deteriorated rapidly! The shake/tremor in leg has become extremely violent and my leg feels like its made of jelly. The force of the tremor physically shakes the upper parts of my body as I try to hobble about. I have never had a sense of balance, so you can imagine how hard I am finding it to stay upright, when my leg is shaking me to the point that I would fall if I was not being held up. This tremor has made my knee extremely painful, the other night the pain was so excruciating that I ended up having a Non Epileptic Seizure.

I am trying to work out whether this tremor is a new development to my leg or if it is a development of a Dystonic movement that was already happening. You see, often when my leg goes into spasm, as the spasm is about to go, my right leg would shake like mad. The way I always thought of it was that my leg was shaking away the spasm, this sounds silly but it was a comforting thought, these tremors would last from to seconds to a good couple of minutes. I think it is likely that this new issue is simply a development of the previous tremor, as Dystonic movements do develop (get worse).

However this creates a whole new ball game. I know that with Dystonia, you cannot really forward think, as you never know what will happen from one day to the next. Nevertheless I find myself having to think forward, as I like to have some sort of plan in place. After speaking to someone with similar leg problems to myself and hearing what they do to manage their symptoms, I have had an idea which I would like to discuss with my doctor. I want to put across to him the idea of getting a knee or leg brace. I have previously used a splint for my hand spasms and I found this very helpful in containing the spasms and most of the time it prevented the spasms from getting too extreme. As this worked well for my hand, I think it would make perfect sense to try out on my leg.

I shall of course listen and take on board anything my doctor suggests, I presume he shall offer me some sort of muscle relaxant to help, and I shall happily do/try whatever he wants me to. However I think I shall really press this idea. After looking into it more, I have read about a number of people who have tried knee or leg braces and found that they had good experiences with them. I plan on waiting a few more days before I go to my doctor. I had originally planned on waiting two weeks before I went but I don’t think I can deal with the pain the tremor is causing for that long. The reason for waiting is so that I can go and say, this has been happening, I believe it is a development of a previous movement, its been having for X many days and this is what I want to suggest. For me, I think this is the right approach to take with my doctor.

Who knows what will happen, I can only hope that he decides to give my idea a go! Until then I am going to avoid moving around as much as possible, so that I do not cause myself any more pain!

 

Posted in Archive, January

The Battle against my Foot, the Doctors and my Brain.

Posted on by dystoniaandme

When you wake up in the morning, what do you? Do you mentally wrestle with yourself to throw back your warm duvet cover, swing your legs out into the unwelcoming cold, stand up and start your day? This is a simple task. One you do every day without thinking about it.

For me, simple is not an applicable word for this every day task. Most days my mother wakes me up to give me my first cocktail of medications for the day. I stay in bed, at the moment for breakfast, as venturing outside of the safety of my mattress is a dangerous move to make. When I eventually have to get out of bed, it involves me calling for my mum to help. Once I have managed to get to the edge of the bed, my mum takes one arm and my step-dad or sibling will take the other.  They support me/attempt to prevent me from falling as I try to walk.

At the moment when my right foot is forced to try and work normally, it fights back hard. Often winning. My toes curl them-selves under, my foot flips over so that the top of it scraps painfully along the floor. And then to put the icing on the cake, it will twist in unnatural painful positions, as it protests violently against my will.

For me, at the present time, getting up and moving is an exhausting task. One that fills me with dread every time I need the loo, or have to move to a different room. Each time I attempt to move around, I try to clear my mind from panic. I tell myself over and over again, that this time  it might just be different, I might manage to walk a few steps, like I was doing before Christmas. I fill my head with positive thoughts. However when my foot then starts to contort, it is physically and emotionally draining.

I wish the doctors could see me like this. See me at home, when I am out of my wheelchair. Where a small glitch in my brain makes me vulnerable in my own environment. Where I struggle to walk one step, where my family catches me when I collapse, where my family protect me from my surroundings when the pain causes me to have a Seizure. Where they could see that I need help now and not in a years time!

However I must remain positive, I must focus on the fact that before Christmas, I was slowly making progress, and learning to walk again. The fact I started to walk, reassure’s me that I will again. Until then I just have to suck it up and deal with it. I must be pro-active. So I shall blog , I shall write letters, and I shall make the doctors and the politicians listen. I shall make them understand just how life changing and debilitating Dystonia is and I shall make them take action! I shall not remain silent!

Posted in Archive, January

Visits from the Doctor, the Occupational Therapist and our MP

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Yesterday I was visited by my GP, my Occupational Therapist and our Local member of parliament. I found the visits interesting in their different ways. The first to visit me was my Occupational Therapist, she is an amazing woman, who does above and beyond what is required of her. She has looked after people who suffer from Dystonia before, so she has a good idea of what the condition is like. Upon being in the house for 20 minutes, and watching me have bad jaw spasms and many Non Epileptic Seizures, she could not believe that I had not been admitted into a hospital as an emergency case!

Next came my GP. My GP is lovely, he does try his best to cope with my condition, but he has never dealt with Dystonia before so has very little understanding of how to treat/cope with it. My GP came to do a home visit as my head has not been right since I hit it on New Years Day and because due to my new Seizures there was no way we could safely get me out of our house. He did the usual basic observations, e.g my blood pressure, my pulse and my temperature. All where normal except my temperature which was ever so slightly up. My GP had never seen my Seizures before, and I don’t think he had a clue what to do with them. After checking me over, he decided that my body was most likely just fighting something off and that was what was causing the new seizures, and the collapse the other day. He did say he would inform my consultant as well.

Now this is the bit I find interesting.  Compare the reactions of the Occupational Therapist who has seen Dystonia before, and the Doctor who has never seen Dystonia before. One thinks I need to be hospitalised as an emergency case and the other thinks my body just has a bug. I think these two very different reactions, are very interesting.

Finally our local member of parliament came to visit. This visit did not go as I had hoped, he listened, made noises in the right places and said he would right a letter. I’m not sure what I was expecting him to say but I had hoped for a more positive outcome than what did happen  The most interesting thing he did was freak when our cat entered the room. It seems that I am going to have to do more complaining myself. I plan to start by writing to the heads of the hospitals whose system have failed, and take it from there.

Living with Dystonia is never going to be easy, and I can only hope that I will be one of the 1 in 20 of us who randomly, for no known medically reason, go into ‘remission’. I plan to draw as much attention as I can to this condition, until someone in the NHS or government realise that their system is failing us!