Posted in Archive, July 2013

Empowerment & Independance

Independence has been a big issue for me ever since Dystonia hit me. I went from living at uni and being very independent to moving back into my family home and relying on my family to do everything for me. Simple things like just going to get a drink or going to talk to a member of my family in the other room became impossible tasks. To get around my house I relied on my parents to put me in a wheelchair and wheel me round. I often found and sometimes still do, that I push myself too far in my attempts to do things for myself and end up causing more spasms, however this never bothered me as I still get that sense of achievement by accomplishing the task.

In the beginning simple things like that fact I could dress myself and do my own hair and makeup were enough for me, as even though they were hard I managed to do them without any help. Sometimes this meant it took hours but I  loved it. Over the months though my desire for more independance built up. I managed to fulfill this desire once a week by riding, where I was in complete control of both body and horse.

Recently though I have been trying to explore ways where I could expand my independance without risking setting off more spasms. At first I was drawing blanks, then it hit me! I could bum shuffle! For those of you who are unfamiliar with bum shuffling it is when you sit on the floor and move using your legs and hips to pull you along, it takes awhile but it gets the job done.

This simple technique has left me thrilled. There are still moments where I need to be in a wheelchair as my spasms are bad and I am simply not well enough to do it, but the majority of the time I am able to. Things like going into the living to watch TV with my family or have a gossip are now so much easier.

Last year I felt like it was the end on the world and that Dystonia was consuming every aspect of my life. Now I am an empowered determined fighter, craftly finding ways to get around the Dystonia.  One day I shall be completely free!

Posted in Archive, July 2013

A Year On

I am now a year into my battle against Dystonia and life has changed dramatically. A year ago I was a student midwife, now I am disabled and spent a lot of time trying to raise awareness of Dystonia. When I first received my diagnosis it seemed like the end of the world, I did not know how I was going to be able to cope with life. Now I am much stronger person filled with determination to make a difference.

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and even if you cannot see the reason at first, eventually you will. I believe I have Dystonia so that I can help raise awareness of the condition and help bring about a change so that sufferers receive better treatment. I still have a long road ahead of me but its one that I won’t give up on.

I visited my GP today to ask about further treatment for suspected Lyme Disease. I responded extremely well to the first month-long course of antibiotics, due to this my GP has prescribed me 8 more weeks of antibiotics to see if I have any further improvement on them. My main improvement so far has been in my hands, which has been an extremely exciting development for me. When I see my consultant on the 16th of this month I am going to put across to him that Lyme Disease could have caused my Dystonia. As Lyme disease is curable with enough antibiotics some of my current symptoms could disappear for good, and only the Dystonic spasms shall remain.

I also visited my dentist this morning to have my teeth cleaned. I can not rate the dental practice highly enough, despite my spasms and seizures whilst I was there they were extremely kind and patient with me. As my tremor is dislodging some of my teeth it is calming knowing that the dental practice will do all they can for me.

This afternoon I have a session with my reflexologist. I am so glad that she is coming today as I am extremely exhausted. It amazes me how quickly my body gets tired. I used to be able to be on the go all the time but now just two quick visits have left me half asleep.

I still cannot believe that I have suffered from Dystonia for a year now. Whilst I hate this condition, I also embrace it. By embracing Dystonia I am able to put all my energy into raising vital awareness and funds. The more awareness that is raised the sooner a cure will be found. My next awareness challenge I have set myself is to turn parts of my blog into a book. I  hope that by doing this more people will learn of the condition.

Dystonia may control my body, but I control the path I take in life. I choose to make a difference!

 

Posted in Archive, June 2013

Which Open Door Shall I leap through?

Despite it being the third most common movement disorder Dystonia goes almost unknown to the public. It lingers in the shadowy background letting its brothers, Essential Tremor and Parkinson, take the limelight. By slithering along in the back alleys it can prey on its victims with ease, bringing devastation to those it touches. The medical profession cowers in its presence, refusing to open their eyes and admit what they are seeing, they send you to a psychiatrist instead, not understanding that this just gives the Dystonia more time to make itself at home in your body and wreak havoc when it sees fit.

By the time the Consultant realises it is Dystonia, you have already been suffering for so long. The spasms leave you drained from the pain, and you are desperate for any sort of relief. Then it seems like a miracle has happened, the consultant whips out a tiny bottle that brings promises of relief from the spasms, the pain, the fight. A few injections of this will sort you out, he promises, he tells you it won’t cure you and you will need it again in three months. You are over the moon, such a long period of relief seems too good to be true. The consultant, who seems to hold all the answers you have searched for, does not warn you that one day you may be fighting him.

Five weeks into your pain-free period agony grips your jaw, the spasm pushing it across to the point you’re sure it will dislocate. Emotions run through you: anger, sadness, heartbreak, devastation. No one warned you how hurt you would feel when the Dystonia reared his ugly head agony. You count the weeks on your hands repeatedly, this should not have happened for weeks yet. As the reality sinks in that you still have to wait at least 6 more weeks for more of the injections numbness sweeps through you. You feel so tired. A small part of you wants to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry.

You try desperately to contact your consultant but he ignores your pleas for help. Who do you turn to now? There are many open doors you could run through, but which one holds the key to help? Who will help you now? How many more Consultants are going to abandon you after dangling hope in front of you?

Which open door shall I leap through?

Posted in Archive, June 2013

Consultant Update

The last couple of days by spasms have been extremely painful which has resulted in an increase of seizures. My necks spasms in particular seem to set these seizures off. Even though the increase in neck spasms is hideous it shows just how much of an incredible effect the Botox had for me. The Botox decreased the severity and frequency of them dramatically.

I finally heard from my consultant the other day. I received an email saying that he would contact me with a date for my Botox injections, I am hoping that this will be soon. He did not address the fact that despite on April 5th he said would admit me for a week and still hasn’t. I have started to accept that fact that this is rather likely to never happen, which I am disappointed about.

I have started making a list of questions I want to ask him. I would like him to consider the fact that Lyme Disease can cause Dystonia and that it could be the root of my problems. I plan on asking him to remain open-minded during the appointment as well, as I would like to discuss with him again certain medications I would like to try. I also want to have an open discussion with him about Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS).

Whilst there is a possibility that my symptoms could improve if it turns out I have Lyme Disease, there is still a real possibility that some of my more debilitating spasms such as the ones effecting my legs could remain in the same state as they are now. I just want my consultant to consider it. I am not asking for it just yet and I would happily try all the medications and jump through all the hoops they want me to first. However at the end of the day I would rather not spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, and whilst DBS does not offer a cure, it offers the possibility that I may not have to rely on the wheelchair all the time. I am hoping that he will understand that I don’t want him to say yes or no just yet, that I just want him to have a think about it.

One thing I have learned through all of this is that if you don’t ask and plant that little seed in the doctor’s mind then you definitely won’t get it. If, however, you plant that little seed it may just grow into a real treatment avenue which could offer hope. There is no harm in asking!

 

Posted in Archive, June 2013

Yesterdays Fantastic Session with my Personal Trainer

I am not the type of person who likes to sit around all day doing nothing, I like to challenge and push myself. Sometimes I do not recognise my limits and I push myself to far but I would rather try than give up. Yesterday I had a session with my personal trainer. Despite feeling ill and having awful spasm for several days I decided to go ahead with the session as I felt slightly better. I am so glad I went ahead with the session as it was incredible.

At the start of the session I was a bit worried as we were going to try to do boxing. I was concerned that my arms would act up and that I would have a lot of spasms, however I will never let my Dystonia stop me from at least trying to do something, because if you never try then you will never know what you are capable of. It was the most fantastic session as my hands did not spasm once! I had a teeny tiny arm spasm that wore off very quickly, but I don’t really count that.

I still feel like I am still on high from the session, it was extremely therapeutic as well as a good work out. I am completely astounded at how well my limbs behaved, it has filled me with joy as it was a fantastic achievement. My arms were not to great later in the day but I did not care as I felt like I was sitting on top of the world.

As an able-bodied person I never tried boxing, I brushed away from the idea of it, declaring that my lack of coördination and my ‘girlie’ attempts would be embarrassing. So I am actually rather thankful that because of my Dystonia alien I got to try boxing out. It was an amazing experience, and I don’t think my punches were ‘girlie’ at all. Over the last few sessions I have realised that I am stronger than I thought.

I feel extremely lucky to have found a personal trainer who is not scared of my condition and who comes up with inventive ways to get me working out e.g using a crutch with him putting resistance through it to do a chest press. Without his fantastic help I am sure that my spasms and my body would me in a far worse state than what they are at the moment. His work outs keep my body moving, which helps give me that extra bit of mobility. His help has given me such confidence in myself and my ability to deal with my spasms. I never thought I would enjoy working out, unless it was on a horse, and now I love it. I love my daily work outs and I am always looking forward to my weekly session.

I know each Dystonia patient is different but I would defiantly recommend looking into a personal trainer to see if they can help you. You may or may not benefit from it, but if you never try you will never know.

Posted in Archive, June 2013

Frustration With Lack Of Help

Over the last couple of days I have not felt to great and my spasms have been awful. I have found myself going from being boiling hot one moment to shaking with cold the next, along with some interesting spasms. My legs latest trick is to spasm so that the leg is completely back to front, which is not a comfortable position to be in. I am going to try and get my mum to capture a picture of it the next time it happens.

Thankfully today I am feeling slightly more like myself and my spasms have been less extreme. I don’t know if the antibiotics that I am on as a trial for possible Lyme Disease caused the increase in spasms or if I was just under the weather.

I am still waiting to hear from my consultant in regards to being admitted for a week so that I can get some help.  We last heard from him on around the 15th April and despite us sending him several emails and chasing his secretary we have heard nothing. When ever I have an appointment with my consultant he seems great, however I am getting more and more frustrated with the lack of help I am getting! Everything that was being arranged for me seems to be not quiet what he gave me the impression it would be. Last October he put me on the waiting list for an inpatient intensive therapy program, and told me that the waiting list for the program was about a year long. However I had an appointment up at the hospital the other day where I was interviewed by two members of staff who will at some point decide IF they are going to admit me to the ward or not. IF I do get admitted it will not be until around June 2014.

I struggle to believe that there is no other help out there that could be put in place for me now. I understand that hospital wards are busy, however surly there must somewhere be at least an outpatient  Neuro Physiotherapy service that I could be referred to  This is going to be something I will discuss with him when I eventually get to see him. I am hoping that I will at least have an outpatient appointment with him soon as I am in need of my Botox injections for my jaw and neck to be redone.

Until my consultant sorts everything out I am going to keep my fingers crossed that Lyme Disease is what has caused this mess, as at least then I know the cause and that is one thing I can stop worrying about.

Posted in Archive, June 2013

Rare Conditions, Doctors and Reflexology

Since I posted my blog post about Lyme Disease and Dystonia I have heard from a variety of people who have Dystonia caused by Lyme Disease or have both Dystonia and Lyme Disease. It has been extremely interesting reading people experiences of the two conditions. What has shocked me is how common this ‘rare’ disease seems to be!

I was doing some research on the two conditions earlier today when I stumbled across a blog written by a Lyme sufferer. She, like so may Dystonia sufferers do, has had to fight and battle against the NHS for treatment. Again she unfortunately has had the same experience that many Dystonia sufferers do in that a neurologist misdiagnosed her as having a ‘Functional Movement Disorder’. The more I read about these supposedly rare conditions the more it seems that the moment a doctor feels a little bit out of their depth they slap the label Functional on to their patient without listening and without further testing. From what I have read this often causes sufferers to question themselves! Whilst I understand that some people must have Functional disorders, many people don’t and are wrongly labelled as so, which causes problems when it comes to receiving correct treatment. It is frankly disgusting.

I came across an article earlier today which listed the neurological symptoms of late stage Lyme Disease and I ticked all but one box. Which has raised my hopes just that little bit more, that I may have found the cause to my Dystonia. It even offers a bit of hope that one day with treatment I may be lucky enough to have some improvement.

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Today I have felt rather under the weather, with my spasms being completely out of control. This has left me feeling exhausted and craving sleep. I have unwillingly refused to let myself sleep all day in the hope that I will manage to get a decent nights sleep tonight.

Yesterday I had my second reflexology session which was once again heavenly. It left me extremely relaxed and sleepy. I managed to get 12 hours sleep which was very much-needed. I am arranging for my next session to be done in the evening so that afterwards I can snuggle straight into bed and go to sleep. My reflexologist was hopefully that if we did an evening session so I could go to sleep afterwards then the benefits of the session may last a few days longer, which would be fantastic!

I cannot wait for my next session.

 

Posted in Archive, May 2013

Have we found stumbled across the cause??

Whilst sitting in a waiting room the other day my mum stumbled across an article about Lyme Disease. Lyme Disease is carried by some ticks and can be transferred via a bite. Later that day my mum did some research about the disease after remembering that I had been bitten by one when I was six up in Scotland, and the area is known to have ticks carrying the disease.  When reading through the symptoms she found that the majority of medical issues I have had through out my life fits with Lyme Disease.

Lyme Disease can cause a majority of problems. In late stages of the disease neurological problems can occur such as muscle spasms, memory loss, twitches etc and can cause Dystonia. I was never tested for Lyme Disease at the time as my parents did not know of the condition. The tick was attached to me for 24 hours and I developed a large rash afterwards. Testing for Lyme is unfortunately not accurate. The tests can result in many false positives and false negatives, some Lyme patients have been tested over 5 times before they got a positive result. The test is only about 30% accurate.

I visited my GP this morning with my mum to discuss this with him. We went armed with information from medical sites, and prepared to fight for a test. Amazingly we did not have to fight! My GP listened to us carefully and decided that instead of ordering the blood test he would start me on a high dose of oral antibiotics instead. I am to take these for a month and see if I get any improvement.

From what I have read if you have late stage Lyme Disease IV antibiotics are the best line of treatment and this goes on for several months. Often antibiotics do not show any positive results for months, in some cases it has taken up to a year. I know that I am unlikely to have any improvement on just one course of antibiotics and that I may have to fight to get another course of them, but I am extremely thankful that he has agreed to put me straight on them.

The information I have read is extremely interesting and whilst there is a chance that I do not have Lyme Disease and that is just a coincidence that my symptoms through out my life fit so well, I cannot help but hope that we may just have stumbled across the organic cause for my Dystonia.