Tag: non epileptic attack disorder

Posted in Archive, March 2014

Neurophysiotherapy

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Today I had an appointment at Jacketts Field Neurological Centre for my neuro-physiotherapy assessment. I was slightly worried as I had heard very mixed reviews about the unit but was doing my best to go with an open mind. As it was an assessment I knew a lot of the time there would be spent answering questions verbally e.g how does your spasms affect your ability to swallow or do you have any walking ability? However some of it was going to be physical, this left me concerned as my body is currently in meltdown mode due to lack of Botox so moving about could be painful. Luckily my mother agreed to come with me which put my mind at rest, if the worst did happen and I had seizure after seizure and an ambulance needed to be called, I would be safe and my mother would be able to instruct them on what needed to be done – however all that worrying was for nothing as I didn’t have a seizure 🙂

After answering a lot of questions and having a good laugh with the physiotherapist, it was time to demonstrate just what my little Dystonia alien does to my legs. Figuring I would only have to take two or three steps with my walking sticks, plus the physio and my mum holding me up, I happily stripped off my splints and stood up. This promptly set off my spasms in my legs and the next things I knew I was on the floor! I had not even taken one step! Benedict obviously had been enjoying playing twister with my face and got his knickers in a right old twister when asked for my legs to join in…stroppy sod! As much as my body is now a little sore at least it gave the physio a good idea of what exactly I am contending with.

Due to how much my body does, the assessment did not get finished even though we majorly ran over time! So we have had to book another assessment in! I am really looking forward to this.

On a quick note this Saturday I am attending my local Dystonia Society Group meeting, this will be this first one I have been to and I am so excited to meet other people with my condition!

Posted in Archive, February 2014

Worrying

Posted on by dystoniaandme

I feel like I am balancing on the knifes edge and that at any moment I could fall. My Dystonia alien and my Lyme Disease had really managed to lull me into a sense of ‘normality’, and over this past week have decided to send me flying to the edge of the knife filled with dread. Up until very recently I had coped rather well with everything, but everything seems to have gone out the window now.

Whilst I have remained seizure free there have been a few moments recently where I have felt right on the edge of one. Last Monday my mother and my little sister spent half an hour looking after me and talking non stop to try to keep me conscious. This has not happen in quite a while and was a shock to all of us. My legs have been bad recently, to the point that last week I did not make it into college on either day, which was to me a big defeat in my battle against the two conditions.

Whilst the pain is bad and gets me down, it is the unknown that I struggle to deal with. My body has progressed and regressed so many times, and each time I deal with it. However it gets harder to do so each time, and right now I have no idea which way my body is going to swing. It may pull through this horrid period and be absolutely fine or it may take a nose dive.

I know there is not much I can do other than stay positive but I can’t help but be scared. Hopefully this is just a bad period and soon my mind will be put at rest.

Posted in Archive, February 2014

Positive Neurology Appointment

Posted on by dystoniaandme

On Tuesday I went up to London to see my lovely neurologist. It was overall an extremely positive appointment. I was very much in need of my Botox injections as in the days leading up to it my Jaw spasms were back. I had my usual six injections (eyes, jaw and neck) and then two my calf. We are hoping that injecting Botox in my calf will prevent the spasms that cause my feet to turn upside down.

I like to keep myself busy, but my neuro has really stressed to me that this is something that has to take a step back for now. I need to slow down, and do less than what I am doing. Doing too much puts me at risk of running myself down and making my condition worse. This is not the first time I’ve been told this but I am really going to try to work on in this now. I don’t want to put myself backwards, I want to keep going forwards and if slowing down is what it takes then I’m going to make a conscious effort to do so.

I’m not seeing him again until the 18th March, which is 7 weeks from when I saw him on Tuesday. I would normally see him every 6 weeks for my injections but there was no clinic on the 11th. This concerns me slightly as the spasms in my jaw tend to come back around week 5, and I don’t want the pain causing a seizure or interrupting my college commitments. However I have not had a seizure in a while so I am hoping that if I fill myself up with painkillers then I should be fine.

This weekend, I went out and saw friends. Now it was just at a mates house watching movies with them all, so I’m hoping this doesn’t count as overdoing it!? It was so great to sit back and have a laugh, and just feel like me again! I can do a lot more now in comparison to a year ago, but activities like yesterday make me feel like I am still in there somewhere, Dystonia and Lyme Disease have not truly taken over.

Posted in Archive, January 2014

Happy New Year

Posted on by dystoniaandme

I would like to start by wishing everyone a slightly late Happy New Year. In regards to my health I have had a fabulous start to the New Year. Last New Years Day I spent in hospital having hours of seizures, this year I spent it recovering from the night before and watching a dvd with one of my best friends! I find it hard to believe how much difference a year can make.

On Monday I am visiting my GP to discuss my ongoing treatment for chronic neurological Lyme Disease. I have been on oral antibiotics for about 8 months now, but have yet to receive IV treatment which is what I need. The response my body has had to the antibiotics has been fantastic, so I can only imagine what my body will be like when I am cured of Lyme. My GP has told us before that the district nurses do not come out to administer IV in our area, which makes receiving treatment slightly problematic. I plan on asking my GP if there is anywhere he knows of that will treat me, even if I have to go privately. My health matters more to me than my money, as it is only by being cured of Lyme Disease and getting my Dystonia under control that I will get back to university.

I am extremely excited for the 28th of this month, when I next go to see my neurologist. At this appointment I will be receiving my normal Botox injections plus injections to my leg. The spasms in my leg are the most debilitating, so I am hopeful that the injections will improve this. The injections I receive regularly have such a fantastic effect and keep the affected areas working so well, which makes me hopeful for a positive response in my leg.

I would love to hear from anyone who has had experience with Botox Injections to their foot/leg, so please get in touch if you have these!

Posted in Archive, December 2013

Pain Free Celebrations

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Todays blog is only a quick one, but I just want to start it by saying I hope you have all had a fabulous Christmas. I have been extremely lucky and spent this Christmas and my 21st Birthday seizure free and with only a handful of spasms! I feel very blessed to have been able to spend both occasions in very little pain, especially as pain is 99% of the time my constant companion.

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Over the Christmas period I have felt the best I have in a long time. Between regular Botox injections for my Dystonia, antibiotics for my Chronic Lyme, and all the other meds thrown in, I have managed to reach an incredibly happy place. I have managed to reach a place where I am not scared to chew my food incase my jaw tremors, where I can speak clearly, where I can brush my hair without the brush getting stuck in my hand. I am in such a different place to where I was last year and I am so unbelievably happy.

Thinking back to last year, and then looking forward to the upcoming year I am filled with hope. So much has changed for the better this last year, and I hope it continues in this way. This time last year I had hoped that I would eventually learn to live with this condition, and in the space of a year I have learned to live with it, and tricks to sneak around it (the power of hot water bottles), I have learned that no matter how hideous things may seem it does get better, that I can have a life.  I have learnt so much, and I am sure I will learn more. In between kicking my Dystonia Aliens butt I plan on having as much as fun as possible.

Incase I don’t have time to blog again beforehand (I’m fantastically busy at the moment :-D) I wish you all a fantastic New Year full of joy.

 

Posted in Archive, October 2013

Ambulance Trip

Posted on by dystoniaandme

After two weeks of no seizures, and no ambulance trips since July, my seizure free luck ran out yesterday. Having had a fantastic day at college, I collapsed outside my house after my legs went into a bad spasm. I feel sorry for my poor friend who took me home that day as it was not a nice experience for her.

I gave my body a good whack on the ground when I collapsed, triggering my seizures. Normally with my Non Epileptic Seizures I come round, even if it is just for a second, between them. However yesterday this did not happen, I remained unconscious in between. Luckily my younger brother and one of younger sisters were at home, so they were able to bring pillows, blankets etc out  to keep me warm whilst my friend kept me safe.

An ambulance had to be called, thankfully I always tell everyone that I have a letter from my neurologist in my handbag instructing paramedics and doctors on what to do. This letter meant that the paramedics quickly administered diazepam to me. As I was remaining unconscious and had been unconscious for so long I was given oxygen and taken to the resus unit at the hospital, where I was monitored for several hours.

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I feel sorry for the first doctor in charge of me as he was very unsure of my condition and therefore seemed to feel frustrated as he was unable to help me. My body being its usual unhelpful self did its typical vein disappearing act. It took the poor man seven attempts to get a line in me and bloods out of me.

Despite this incident ruining my good streak, I am still viewing it as progress! Hopefully these blues and twos trips to hospital will continue to be less and less, until they fizzle out completely all together. It may take time, but it will one day happen. I am so thankful for my letter from my neurologist, I am sure with it out I would not have received diazepam so quickly, and that was much-needed to help bring me round.

I am now home and shall be spending the next couple of days recuperating from yesterdays events.

Posted in Archive, October 2013

Fantastic Neurology Appointment

Posted on by dystoniaandme

This afternoon I was up in London seeing my lovely neurologist. As usual I went armed with lots of questions. I feel very blessed that I see such a lovely man, who listens to everything I have to say. His manner is very calming, I hate needles, but his calm attitude puts me at complete ease, I would never let anyone else stick so many injections in me. I was excited to see him and to show him how much progress I have made with creating my life around my symptoms.

We went through all my queries before my injections and he was so helpful with each one. He is going to write to my GP explaining that I need the IV antibiotics for Lyme Disease, I am relieved he has agreed to do this as it means I do not have to argue with my GP about it. I have a severe intolerance to Lactose, which unfortunately all but one of medications contain. At first this was fine as my body was coping with the small amount, but now that it has slowly built up in system my body is reacting and is making my other medical conditions, e.g IBS, worse. The most annoying issue with it is that no matter how much time I sleep for I wake up feeling like I never went to sleep and I find it hard to keep going in the days, my neurologist has offered to get the pharmacy at the hospital to look into alternatives for me. This would make such a big difference. We have also juggled around my next two appointment to make sure that my jaw is in working order for Christmas and my 21st birthday.

We spoke about my functional paralysis and agreed that in a way it was positive as it was less disruptive to life, although it is not ideal. There is not much I can do other than take pain killers and try to stimulate the part that is paralysed in attempt to disrupt the incorrect signals that are being sent – this has not worked yet but I shall keep trying. I had my eyes, jaw and neck injected with Botox so my spasms shall continue to my kept in check and my jaw tremor should soon settle down for a few weeks.

It was a fantastic appointment. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful neurologist looking after me.

 

 

Posted in Archive, October 2013

Short Term Goals

Posted on by dystoniaandme

As I have mentioned before my body does not react very well to me getting ill, even colds cause my Dystonia alien to act up more than usual. Therefore I have spent today spasming, having seizures and trying to find the energy to get things done. I have not slept well the last few nights which I know will be aggravating my symptoms – thankfully I have reflexology tomorrow which should help with my sleep.

I have spent a lot of time thinking today about goals. I have lots of long-term ones that I am determined to achieve, but it occurred to me today that I also needed short-term ones as well. Goals that would keep me motivated even when I am feeling under the weather and my body is at its worst. I have decided that my first goal will be to be to walk in my splints around the house by Christmas without crutches! As I am starting neurophysiotherapy soon I see no reason as to why this cannot happen. I was walking around the house last Christmas and I shall, with the aid of my splints, be walking by this Christmas.

There is a girl on my college course who I find very inspirational. Despite being young (17), she is coping amazingly well with a combination of different conditions. One of her issues is that she cannot feel her legs – she has some very limited feeling in her upper thighs but that’s it and yet with the help of crutches she walks. Now most of the time I can feel my legs, and I have the extra help of splints, so it is time to put them to good use and start walking!

ImageI know that I may not be able to walk every day due to my Dystonia aliens games, but I will walk as far as I can every day, whether that only be walking 2 footsteps or walking for 2 hours, I shall every day walk! And I shall do this by Christmas!

 

Posted in Archive, September 2013

Breath of Fresh Air

Posted on by dystoniaandme

After Tuesday nights functional paralysis drama, I am pleased to report that my little Dystonia alien has not scared me witless with a repeat episode (so far). In fact other than a light and pain triggered seizure whilst at college yesterday, I have been rather good. I even managed to go riding on Thursday!

I spent Wednesday in bed resting, as I did not want to trigger off any spasms or seizures as I desperately wanted to attend both college and riding on Thursday. Amazingly my Dystonia gave me break from the recent dramatics and I only had to contend with my usual spasms. The normality of the usual spasms were a much-needed breath of fresh air. Both college and riding went fantastically well, with my spasms only acting up right at the end of riding – thankfully that was perfect timing,

Yesterday, for several hours my legs were functionally paralysed, this did not scare me as I am used to this happening several times a week. It turned out that it had been triggered by me strapping my splints to my legs too tightly – but hey its a lesson learnt. I now know to always check the tightness after strapping myself to them. I had a little light and pain triggered seizure whilst I was at college yesterday. I feel very lucky that the college dealt with this calmly and once I regained consciousness they let me carry on as if nothing had ever happened, which is just how I hoped they would react.

Today my body is extremely sore and I am experiencing an on/off functional paralyses to my legs. Therefore I am having a lazy day in bed. I am so happy that I am managing college and riding. I had been worried that the two would be too much for my body to cope with, but so far so good. It is days like the last few that remind me that despite being in a wheelchair and not really having control of my body, I can still make a life for myself and enjoy the things I love. I just have to remember to balance  things out… I’ll get the hang of balancing eventually 😉

 

Posted in Archive, September 2013

Benedict Blindness

Posted on by dystoniaandme

I had been worried about how my body was going to cope with college and the added stimulation. Thursday and Friday at college went perfectly with only minor hiccups,  which led me into a false sense of security. In typical Benedict style I was shown reality yesterday. As I was feeling pretty good and only a bit tired – I should have seen this as a warning sign – I decided to go with some of my family to a friend’s house warming party. It started off fine, I was enjoying myself, and even indulged in a cheeky Gin and Tonic. However soon the tiredness really hit, again this should have set of the warning lights but I ignored it and carried on chatting.

My eyes spasms, the ones that cause me to go blind due to the eyeballs being pulled up and back, started. At first they were not too long, but they kept happening and started causing seizures. Leaving at this point was not an option as my brain had disconnected from my legs, leaving me functionally paralysed.

Then it all calmed down. I thought my little alien had gone back to sleep. It turned out to be the calm before the storm. I went blind again, and this time my eyes didn’t seem to be coming back, I tried sensory tricks which failed, I even started hoping I would have a seizure as that would normally bring them back yet I was staying unusually conscious. This began to make me nervous, I was in a new environment, surrounded by lots of people who I didn’t know (they were however all very lovely and helpful), and this spasm was becoming unusually long.

The longest this particular spasm has ever lasted is 15 hours, and after an hour of being blind I began to panic that the same thing was going to happen. When I get nervous I talk…a lot, which my poor mother had to put up with. After taking some Diazepam my legs came back however I still remained blind. In the end we decided that the best thing to do was to try to get me out the house and to the car whilst I was blind and then judge what to do when we got home. Getting out of the house however was the tricky part. I had to, using my crutches and splints, walk out and down two small steps, then up two steps and then transfer back to my wheelchair. Doing this whilst I am able to see is hard enough, so doing it blind was going to be difficult. With the help of my parents and some lovely people I got down the first two steps and up one, it was at this point – just one step away from my wheelchair that I had a seizure.

I am so thankful for all the people that were around me, caught me, and helped me. If they all had not caught me I would have without a doubt woken up in A&E hooked up to IV pain relief. Between them all they managed to get me into my wheelchair, and then waited around until the space between my seizures was long enough to transfer me into the car. Thankfully, once we managed to get me home and got some Oramorph into me, my seizures calmed down and my eyes started to stay in place!

After a chat with my mum, we have agreed I am not allowed to go out/do much at the weekends for the first half term of college, so that my brain can adapt to the added stimulation and learn to cope with it. This way I can stay safe and realistically it will eventually enable me to do more.

I have to learn to take baby steps before trying to run. I’ll remember this one day. On the positive side at least I could see for some of the house-warming and had a good time!