Tag: pain

Posted in Archive, May 2014

Leg/foot Dystonia

Posted on by dystoniaandme

Instead of working steadily down the body for my blog posts I decided today to go straight on down to the leg/foot. This may have been influenced by todays spasms. For me, I class my leg/foot spasms as one of my most debilitating symptoms as it has resulted in me being unable to walk and having to use a wheelchair. In young adults and children Dystonia in the leg/foot area can be a sign of generalised Dystonia. Whereas for older adults (usually 30+ ) it would be more likely that it would be just in that area, this is known as focal Dystonia. I used to always walk funny, often falling over, and kicking my ankles open. I would often say “my legs just won’t do what I want”, at the time it was laughed off but now I often wonder if this was the first sign of the condition.

Dystonia is currently not a curable condition, therefore treatment is focused more on managing the current symptoms as well as possible. The most effective treatment at the moment involves regular Botox injections, where the injections are given depends on the spasm. Some people find that they need a combination of medications such as muscle relaxants as well as Botox injections . Physiotherapy is thought to be of use as well in a number in a cases, this is something I am starting to try along with Botox and muscle relaxants.

 Below are two photos of my foot/leg spasms.

Posted in Archive, March 2014

Ambulance Trip

Posted on by dystoniaandme

I’d like to start this post off by apologizing in advance if bits don’t quite make sense. I have a fair bit of medication in my system and I am having to concentrate very hard as I do not really feel like I am with it today. Over the last few days my body has been very interesting. I presumed it was just in meltdown mode after the trip to London and back for my Botox injections last Tuesday. My right leg in particular has been bad. The spasms have been impressive but rather painful. I have found myself repeatedly over the last few days in the position in the photo below. which I can assure you is not a comfortable one to be in.

Photo: So its not a particularly bad spasm. But why my leg felt the need to spend more time next to my head baffles me and was rather uncomfertable

Last night my body did full body twitches, which was a new symptom for me, however this did not seem to stop, then my leg joined in spasming repeatedly into the above position. However several times whilst in that position my hip spasmed in one direction and my lower leg spasmed in the opposite direction. This caused agony, and according to my family they all heard a cracking sound. I then started to have lots of my Non Epileptic Seizures. In between seizures when I was spasming we tried administering our crisis medication, Tramadol and diazepam, but this did not seem to touch the pain or the spasms, which meant that an Ambulance had to be phoned.

The paramedics, Gareth and Amanda, were two of the nicest people I have met. They helped keep me as comfortable as possible, which is saying something considering the amount of pain I was in. It was decided that I needed to go to hospital to have my leg checked out as it was swelling and they thought I had torn a ligament. In the end they gave me IV morphine which made me slightly sleepy and giggle, to helped ease the pain enough to transfer me into the ambulance safely, where they then gave me Gas and Air. I now understand why the women I looked after on the labour ward loved the stuff so much. At first it had me creasing up in laughter like a crazy woman, eventually I then thought I was dreaming the whole situation, which was when we decided I had maybe had enough of it. I have to say I was so impressed by the standard of care they gave me. They didn’t know anything about my condition, but they treated better than half the previous doctors I have seen!

The doctor Teeto and the nurse Precious in charge of my care, were again wonderful people. I feel extremely lucky to have been under the care. Teeto actually knew a fair bit about Dystonia and was not fazed by spasms at all. He quickly had me sent down to x-ray to make sure I had not broken my knee, where I had some more seizures on the poor woman as she to move my leg about. Thankfully I have not broken anything!! I have just damaged and pulled some of the bits in my leg. Teeto, sent me home with a box of Diazepam, his plan is for me to take this at regular intervals over the next few days, in the hope it will break this new spasm cycle.

Whilst I am in a lot pain now, and feeling rather spaced, I am so thankful that I was under the care of four such wonderful people last night. They were all so caring, and you could tell really wanted to help stop my pain and spasms. It is amazing the difference incredible people like these can make during times when you are in agony!

Posted in Archive, March 2014

Oromandibular Dystonia

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Since last Friday my Oromandibular (jaw) Dystonia and tremor has been rather bad. These spasms leave my jaw extremely distorted and the pain is constant. Unfortunately my Botox is a week later than usual, my appointment is not until the 18th of this month. Even though I know it is just under two weeks to go now, I am finding it hard to function due to pain.

However there is always a positive and I refuse to let this be a purely negative blog post. Despite the spasms that were severely affecting my jaw and neck last Friday I still managed to get into college. I cut down my workload as I knew it would not realistically get done without exhausting my body, but I managed to get in, which surprised me as I did not expect to in the state I was in.

It never ceases to amaze me just how exhausting pain is. Today my jaw has insisted on tremoring a lot. I use a teething dummy to protect my teeth and tongue, at the end of my last tremor however I was not quick enough at removing the teething dummy from my mouth, with the way my jaw then spasmed it got slightly stuck…I cannot even begin to describe how much this amused me, it took a whole hour before I was able to pry the dummy out from between my teeth. It really was hilarious.

It is moments like these that are vital. Dystonia is hideous. The pain that I am going through on a daily basis is enough that all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep until I can get my Botox injections. But sleeping won’t raise awareness of the condition, hiding away won’t beat the condition. Moments of pure hilarity are part of what makes Dystonia bearable and I am so thankful for these moments!

Posted in Archive, February 2014

Feeling Good

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Last time I posted I felt that I was balancing on the knifes edge and was feeling pretty negative, well I’m feeling darn good today and I plan on enjoying it. My legs have not been as bad the last couple of days, the swelling in my knees is going down and the pain in them is tolerable. This improvement has made such a mental difference as the pain was really beginning to get me down.

Having my pain levels go down has made the biggest difference as it is the pain that I struggle to deal with the most. I can cope with my body spasming, tremoring and getting into unnatural positions but the pain is what I can’t cope with. Normally it would be my jaw that causes the unbearable pain, so at least having it in my knees made a change.

I am now on half term, which mean no college and no riding 😦 however I know that it is best just to let my body rest and recover this week, before I throw myself back into everything head first next week. On a positive note I made into college last week!! After being too ill to go in the week before I was determined to drag myself out of bed and into college – trying to get dressed whilst my legs where on strike was interesting but  I managed it and it was the best thing I could have done. I know that I tire very easily these days but doing normal things like college make me so happy.

As I have mentioned before my cousin David and his friend Sam are running the London marathon for The Dystonia Society in April. I woke up to see a small article had been written on them in their local newspaper (Somerset). Its so positive to see awareness of Dystonia spreading!

I often say that I wish I could see inside my brain so I could have a better understanding of what exactly is going on. As other than all the medical jargon I have no idea what exactly it is doing…this picture describe it perfectly and makes me smile.

Posted in Archive, February 2014

Worrying

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I feel like I am balancing on the knifes edge and that at any moment I could fall. My Dystonia alien and my Lyme Disease had really managed to lull me into a sense of ‘normality’, and over this past week have decided to send me flying to the edge of the knife filled with dread. Up until very recently I had coped rather well with everything, but everything seems to have gone out the window now.

Whilst I have remained seizure free there have been a few moments recently where I have felt right on the edge of one. Last Monday my mother and my little sister spent half an hour looking after me and talking non stop to try to keep me conscious. This has not happen in quite a while and was a shock to all of us. My legs have been bad recently, to the point that last week I did not make it into college on either day, which was to me a big defeat in my battle against the two conditions.

Whilst the pain is bad and gets me down, it is the unknown that I struggle to deal with. My body has progressed and regressed so many times, and each time I deal with it. However it gets harder to do so each time, and right now I have no idea which way my body is going to swing. It may pull through this horrid period and be absolutely fine or it may take a nose dive.

I know there is not much I can do other than stay positive but I can’t help but be scared. Hopefully this is just a bad period and soon my mind will be put at rest.

Posted in Archive, December 2013

Pain Free Celebrations

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Todays blog is only a quick one, but I just want to start it by saying I hope you have all had a fabulous Christmas. I have been extremely lucky and spent this Christmas and my 21st Birthday seizure free and with only a handful of spasms! I feel very blessed to have been able to spend both occasions in very little pain, especially as pain is 99% of the time my constant companion.

Image

Over the Christmas period I have felt the best I have in a long time. Between regular Botox injections for my Dystonia, antibiotics for my Chronic Lyme, and all the other meds thrown in, I have managed to reach an incredibly happy place. I have managed to reach a place where I am not scared to chew my food incase my jaw tremors, where I can speak clearly, where I can brush my hair without the brush getting stuck in my hand. I am in such a different place to where I was last year and I am so unbelievably happy.

Thinking back to last year, and then looking forward to the upcoming year I am filled with hope. So much has changed for the better this last year, and I hope it continues in this way. This time last year I had hoped that I would eventually learn to live with this condition, and in the space of a year I have learned to live with it, and tricks to sneak around it (the power of hot water bottles), I have learned that no matter how hideous things may seem it does get better, that I can have a life.  I have learnt so much, and I am sure I will learn more. In between kicking my Dystonia Aliens butt I plan on having as much as fun as possible.

Incase I don’t have time to blog again beforehand (I’m fantastically busy at the moment :-D) I wish you all a fantastic New Year full of joy.

 

Spasm Induced Blindness

I want to bring some awareness to one of my rarer Dystonia symptoms. My eyes do a few different spasm, sometimes they blink rapidly, other times they clamp shut, but more often they roll back into my head and stay there for long periods of time. Luckily Botox injections helps my first two spasms a lot so they do not really bother me anymore. However I go blind on almost a daily basis now.

When the blindness first happened last August it was only for a few minutes, it was scary but I could deal with it. A few days later I went blind for 15 hours, which resulted in 8 days in hospital whilst they checked for things like epilepsy and tumors. Needless to say those 15 hours of blindness were terrifying and I began to worry that my eyes would never roll back down to where they should be. Thankfully I have never had one as long as that since, but they do often last for hours at a time.

This particular eye spasm is not common in Dystonia sufferers. There is not much that can be done to help it as there is no way to Botox the muscles behind the eyes that cause it. Taking muscle relaxants makes a small difference, which is better than nothing. I try to be careful and stay away from anything that I know will trigger it  e.g flashing lights or bright lights.

Not a lot is known about this particular symptom so it is hard to know what to do to help myself. Even Dystonia websites brought next to nothing up. Last night, on one of the Dystonia Facebook groups, I managed to get in touch with several other women, some from different countries, who experienced the same thing. I cannot put into words the joy this brought me, how soothing it is to know you are not the only person out there who cannot keep their eyes in place. It is rather calming.

The photo below is from this weekend, the flash on the phone (that we thought we had turned off) caused my eyes to spasm and go blind. These spasms are very painful, and unnerving, but are something I am learning to live with as part of daily life. I am so thankful that I know that no matter how many hours my eyes are gone for they will eventually always come back,

Me with my eyes spasming causing blindness

Posted in Archive, October 2013

A change in Tactic

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So my body seems to have decided to change its tactic. Normally when I am in a lot of pain I have a Non Epileptic Seizure. The last two weeks or so my body has disconnected from certain parts of me or all of me, leaving me functionally paralysed. I have had a handful of seizures as well but the functional paralysis does seem to be my body’s main coping mechanism now.

I am in two minds about this change. On one hand I am happy that there has been a decrease of seizures, as it means I am conscious more often, not forgetting hours either way of the seizures etc. On the other hand the functional paralysis can be rather scary. The first time it really hit me I lost the connection to the lower half of my face for 7 hours. A big part of me knew it was just my body coping with pain, but a small part of me was terrified that something worse was at play such as a stroke. When the functional paralysis comes out to play I either disconnect for one to two minutes or I disconnect for hours. There is no middle ground.

As I type my right foot is in spasm. It felt like the force of the spasm was trying to break my big toe. I was in a lot of pain and was beginning to think that I should be sensible and shimmy down the bed a bit so that I did not hurt myself if I ended up having a seizure. However instead of seizing both my legs ended up functionally paralysed despite my left leg having no spasm in it at the time.

I am seeing my neurologist on Tuesday for my injections and a chat, so am going to add functional paralysis to my list of questions. I’m not sure if there is anything he can suggest to help but he may be able to advise something. I think I prefer my body coping this way but at the same time it scares me slightly.

Posted in Archive, August 2013

Acrobatics

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The ability my Dystonia has to twist my body into any position it desires never ceases to amaze me. Having hypermobility syndrome aids it somewhat. The two conditions are both painful and amusing. Over the last year my body has got itself into positions that are simply not natural. I always knew my hands moved in ways that were not normal, but never realised that the rest of me could.

Some of the positions Dystonia has put me in has reduced me to tears of both pain and laughter. Take for example last October, I ended up on the floor doing the splits, something that I had never done before. A month or so ago, the spasm in my leg caused my leg to turn back to front, a movement that shocked those around me and triggered a non epileptic seizure.  At other times it has caused slight embarrassment, but this is something I accepted as part of the Dystonia parcel a long time ago.

This evening I was crawling to the next room as I did not want to use the wheelchair, my right leg quickly spasmed sideways, I ignored it as it was not preventing me from moving. However whilst I was crawling through the doorway my hip went into a spasm causing my spasming leg to shoot up and my foot to become caught under the door handle. Both my mother and step dad came to help me. My mum supported me incase I had a seizure and my step dad wrestled with my spasming foot to free it. I was on my hands laughing. The situation was ridiculous. At 20 years old I am crawling around trying to have some sort independence yet even this simple act is not alway possible. It is so ridiculous that I did not feel cross or upset, all I could do was laugh it all.

Throughout the last year my spasms have shown me just what my body can do, and it amazes me. I often joke that I would make a fantastic acrobat or ballerina. Though the spasms cause pain and pull my muscles, I refuse to let it get me down. Instead I see it as a strange talent that provides entertainment for all.

After all why cry when you can laugh?!

Posted in September

Return from Holiday and Sensory tricks

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I am now back from a fantastic and relaxing holiday in the Cotswolds with my family. I think it did all of the us the world of good to get away for a little while. I was shocked and over the moon that I managed to go out everyday and did not have a full body melt down with a handful of seizures thrown in until the Thursday!! We went to a number of places which were more wheelchair friendly than I expected which was amazing, my favourite being Warwick Castle where we watched the jousting.

The week before we went away I saw my reflexologist twice to try to prolong the effects the reflexology has. I am extremely glad I did this as it meant that I slept well until the Wednesday when my body reverted back to its ‘i’ll keep you up till 3am’ normality. My reflexologist is away for a week or so now and I am really looking forward to her return so that I can have some spasm/pain-free nights again. I am now counting down to the 27th when I go to see my neurologist for my injections. It thrills me to know that with them being done so often the pain I normally endure for weeks shall now be almost nonexistent.

Whilst on holiday my eyes went blind several times due to the spasms. Normally this causes seizures, and a few times it did, however I again tried doing sensory tricks to my eyes to see if they would make a difference and for once I seem to have found one that works for me! It only works on the spasm that pulls my eyeball upwards so that only the whites of my eyes are seen. I have found that by putting pressure on my eyes and moving my hands in a downward motion a few times that it encourages the spasm to release. I could have danced with joy when I found this worked as it should reduce my seizures!

I am feeling extremely positive at the moment, and very relaxed after a wonderful holiday. I may not be in control but I am coping and finding ways around my little Dystonia alien. Just got to take it one day at a time.